Men Are Like

Men are like fine wine:
They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d want to have with dinner.

Men are like computers:
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers:
Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like coffee:
The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night long.

Men are like horoscopes:
They always tell you what to do, and they are always wrong.

Men are like plungers:
They spend most of their time in the hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like parking spots:
The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.

Men are like ..Laxatives …..
They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like Weather .
Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like …Commercials …..
You can’t believe a word they say.

Men are like ……Government Bonds ….
They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like ….Mascara ..
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like….. Commercials.
You can’t believe a word they say.

Men are like….. Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.

Men are like….. Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like….. Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don’t generate interest.

Men are like….. Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.

Men are like….. Snowstorms.
You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last.

Men are like….. Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like….. Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like….. Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like….. High heels.
They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like….. Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like….. Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

Men are like….. Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like….. Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like….. Curling irons.
They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.

Men are like….. Lawn Mowers.
If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.

Men are like….. Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like….. Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like….. Mini skirts.
If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your legs.

Men are like….. Noodles.
They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Men are like….. Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like….. Placemats.
They only show up when there’s food on the table.