Tag: SMS jokes
Funny SMS Shayari Collection
Aise apni Wife ho
5’4″ jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho, Chehara jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light Ho, Umar me difference slight ho,
Thodi see wo quiet ho, Aise apni Wife ho.
Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bheed me sab kahe side ho, side ho,
India ki paidaish ho,
Saas ki seva jiski khwahish ho Aisi apni Wife ho.
Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Dinner candle light ho, Dono me na kabhi fight ho,
Milne ke baad dil delight ho, Yeh poem padhke sab kahe
“Guru,tum right ho”,
Hindi SMS jokes
Kyun chalti hai pawan?
Bcoz of evaporation.
Kyun jhoome hai gagan?
Bcoz of revolution.
Kyun machalta hai man?
Bcoz of excessive perspiration.
Kyun aati hai bahar?
Bcoz of change in season.
Kyun lut ta hai Qarar?
Bcoz of mental tension.
Kyun hota hai pyar?
Bcoz of fatal attraction.
Kyun gum hai har disha?
Bcoz of loss of sense of direction.
Kyun hota hai nasha?
Bcoz of drug addiction.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum.
ARRE BUT I JUST ANSWERED ALL!!!!
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Q : Aadmi shaadi kyun karta hai?
A :Seedhi si baat hai.
Taan ki marne k baad
Jab narak me jaye
To ajeeb sa na lage!
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100 Santa Banta jokes
1day santa had a dream,in that some1 killed him.Next day he closed his bank a/c. B’coz bank’s slogan was ‘WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE’
1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola”muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna
1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene”I Luv U”kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.
1st Sardar:Jab main chhota tha tab Kutab Minar se gir gaya tha 2nd sardar: Fir tu mar gya ki bach gaya? 1st:Mujhe yad nahi kuyoki tab mai bahut chhota tha na.
2srdar jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya 1st:abe bhag 2nd:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he
3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- “Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega..”
A drunk santa fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: “Sardar ji ki hoya?” He said”pata nahin main v hune aya haan”!!!
Valentines Day SMS-Valentines shayari-Valentines Day Texts
There is more hunger for Love & Appreciation in this world than for bread….Kindness on the level of self, family and mankind makes everyone feel better. Let us Love Every One…
- Mother Theresa. Happy Valentines Day!!!
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Na jane ohna de dil vich ki hai jo chup chaap bhul ke beh gaye ne, kayi vaar ta rabb inj jaape ki oh sanu galat samajhke beh gaye ne, khud kehnde si sath nibhavange, aap hora de vass peh gaye ne, rabba khush rakhhin sadde apneyan nu, jo sahnu yaad v karno
Romantic SMS, Romantic Punjabi SMS, 255
Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they’re gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won’t hear you anymore.
Romantic Valentines SMS, Romantic English Valentines text messages , Valentines shayari
Love isn’t a decision, it’s a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.
Romantic Valentines SMS, Romantic English Valentines text messages , Valentines shayari
24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
person like me will make ur life lovely.
Have a lovely day n life!**
Romantic Valentines SMS, Romantic English Valentines text messages , Valentines shayari
Wen things go wrong…
Wen sadness fills ur heart…
Santa Banta's SMS jokes
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
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How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
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Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
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An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
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Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
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Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
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Some more love and friendship sms shayri
Jaam tootne ka bahana na kar….
Hum teri aankho se pee lenge
tu mat aa lekin aane ka vaada to kar
hum teri yaad mein jee lenge…………
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Pyaar aa jaata hai aankhoon main roonay say pehlay
har khuwab toot jaata hai soonay say pehlay
ishq hai gunnah yeh tu samajh gaye
kaash koi rok leta yeh gunnah honay say pehlay.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mohabbat mea wafa toe her koi nibhata hai
par kamzoor rishto k ghar mea her koi toot jata hai.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“hum bhi zindagi k her khubsoorat rang se
apni zindagi saza sakte hai
hum bhi her kise k saath dil se muskura sakte hai
bus jara dard ko haad se gujarne toe doe yaroo.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
waqt ki raahon me aap bhula de chahe hame,
par hum aapko bhula nahi payenge,
teri dosti ki kasam ae dost,
tu awaaz de sapne me hum haqeeqat me chale aayenge
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
zindagi hai dil hai nadan hai,
kya safar hai kya samaan hai,
koi mere gum ko bhi jhaank kar dekhe,
muskuradena bohot aasan hai
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
khushbu ki tarah aap k paas bikhar jayenge,
sukun ban kar dil me utar jaayenge,
mehsus karne ki koshish to kijiye.
Door hote huye bhi paas nazar aayenge.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ishq wahi hai jo ho ektarfa,
izhar e ishq to khwahish ban jaati hai.
Hai agar ishq to aankho mein dekho ,
zuban kholne se ye numaish ban jaati hai.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kahi unkahi batoon ki ada hai dosti
har ranjho gam ki dava hai dosti
zameen par kami hai pujne walo ki
varna is zameen par khuda hai dosti
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
kabhi dil ko,kabhi shama ko jalakar roye,
teri yadoo ko seene se lagakar roye…
Raat ki god me jab so gyi dunia saari,
to chand ko tasvweer banakar roye………..
Java Interview attended by our Banta Singh
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different … nothing more ]
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Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
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Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
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Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
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Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
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Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can’t communicate.
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Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
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Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
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Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
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Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
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Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
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Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
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Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.
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Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
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Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
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Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
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Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
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Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
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Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast