All Posts Tagged With: "Santa Banta Jokes"

1day santa had a dream,in that some1 killed him.Next day he closed his bank a/c. B’coz bank’s slogan was ‘WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE’

1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola”muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna

1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene”I Luv U”kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.

1st Sardar:Jab main chhota tha tab Kutab Minar se gir gaya tha 2nd sardar: Fir tu mar gya ki bach gaya? 1st:Mujhe yad nahi kuyoki tab mai bahut chhota tha na.

2srdar jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya 1st:abe bhag 2nd:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he

3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- “Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega..”

A drunk santa fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: “Sardar ji ki hoya?” He said”pata nahin main v hune aya haan”!!! Continued

Popularity: 4% [?]

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

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How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

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Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”

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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .

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An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.

 Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”

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Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

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Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Hi

yep you’ve read it correct there is a vacency.

Vacancy 4 a True Friend and these are the requirement :

Eligibility: Loving & Caring,
Duty: To Luv,
Experience: Not required,
Salary: Never Ending Friendship,
Joining: ASAP,
Agreement : Lifetime
Is any one Interested ? then comment

Popularity: 4% [?]

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different … nothing more ]
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Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
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Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
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Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
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Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
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Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can’t communicate.
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Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
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Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
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Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
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Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
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Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
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Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
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Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.
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Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
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Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
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Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
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Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
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Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
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Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

Popularity: 1% [?]

Hi all ,

Yep I am sharing my mood today n believe me I am in toooooo bad mood today .

1. Subah uthte hi bhajan sunna pada (These bloody ring tones ).
2. Then mumma ka lecture to do puja n all that .
3. And now from the unexpected one ; A Blogger Friend

So just to tell all of them and as an avid atheist, I’ve come across many quotes that describe xactly how I feel abt religion n God, some of the quotes i bliv in n if believing like this is called atheism then yes I am a atheist.

“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature , Science and My Motherland .”

“We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn’t been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake.” – Catherine Fahringer

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Justin Brown
“An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An Atheist believes that deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An Atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanished, war eliminated.”

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Dennis McKinsey:

If God kills, lies, cheats, discriminates, and otherwise behaves in a manner that puts the Mafia to shame, that’s okay, he’s God. He can do whatever he wants. Anyone who adheres to this philosophy has had his sense of morality, decency, justice and humaneness warped beyond recognition by the very book that is supposedly preaching the opposite.

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G.K. Chesterton:

I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward.

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Wendy Kaminer:

I don’t spend much time thinking about whether God exists. I don’t consider that a relevant question. It’s unanswerable and irrelevant to my life, so I put it in the category of things I can’t worry about.

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Arthur C. Clarke

“Religion is a byproduct of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn’t killing people in the name of God a pretty good definition of insanity?”

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Andrew Carnegie

“I don’t believe in God. My god is patriotism. Teach a man to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life.”

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“Atheism is a requirement for a complete human being. Religion is a crutch that is shackled to you, one you never really needed in the first place, but were convinced by others that you couldn’t live without. Once you discover it’s only an illusion, that it’s not even a real crutch, you discard it gladly.” – Brent Yaciw

and at the end I hope By the year 2020, ,we will raise our children to believe in human potential, not God.

Popularity: 1% [?]