Santa Banta Jokes

Khush Ho Tum Tu Khushi Meri Ho
Ro Tum Tu Ankhen Num Meri Hon
Ae Dost Hamari Dosti Itni Gehri Ho K
Sarak K Us Paar Tum Pito Aur Ghalti Meri Ho

Khuda Karay K Tum Ko Judai Na Milay
Kabhi Bhi Tanhai Na Milay
Mujhay Sms Na Karo To Kuch Aisa Ho
K Mosam Ho Sardi Ka Or Tum Ko Razai Na Milay

Girl : (Emotionaly)
Darte hain agg say kahin jal na jayen..
darte hain Khwab say Kahin Toot Na jayen..
Lakin Sub Say Ziada Darty hain Es baat say…
Kay App Hamain KAhin Bhool Na jaye..
Boy :
Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe…
Door rehkar bhi hamesha chahenge tumhe…
Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to…..
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection’time out’ ho gaya

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan Paro bolo”Shukriya Bhai Jan”

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho gai merii dukaan per wo paogai
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaogai

Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
Chand To Tum Ho Hi
Sitare Bhi Saath Hote

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par haire meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla..

Driver: Santa Singh,

hun gadi age nahi ja sakdi.

petrol khatam ho gya hai.

Santa: Koi gal nahi reverse le la,

mud ghar tan puj jan ge!

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Sache pyar nu har koi Labda,

koi labda sassi te koi labda heer.

Asi ta yaro labni sahiba,

te kutne ohde veer..!!

22 teri lod pau..

Tyar rahi

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Ki dassa Dard Kahani bare,

Hanju ajj vi behnde Rehnde ne.

Asi yaad rakhya oh Bhull gaye,

Kehnde yaaran da Ki hai,

yaar Ta ZinDagi ch aunde jande rehde ne

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Dost vasde rehan aina hi bahut hai,

sab hasde rehan aina hi bahut hai.

Har koi har vele naal tan nahin reh sakda,

bas yaad karde rehan ena hi bahut hai.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Continued

1day santa had a dream,in that some1 killed him.Next day he closed his bank a/c. B’coz bank’s slogan was ‘WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE’

1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola”muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna

1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene”I Luv U”kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.

1st Sardar:Jab main chhota tha tab Kutab Minar se gir gaya tha 2nd sardar: Fir tu mar gya ki bach gaya? 1st:Mujhe yad nahi kuyoki tab mai bahut chhota tha na.

2srdar jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya 1st:abe bhag 2nd:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he

3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- “Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega..”

A drunk santa fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: “Sardar ji ki hoya?” He said”pata nahin main v hune aya haan”!!! Continued

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

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How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

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Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”

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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .

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An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.

 Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”

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Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

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Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

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