SMS Jokes

Dono Baithe Thhe Jaise Bejan Tasvir,
Nikle Jo Lafj, Badal Hi Gayi Taqdir,
Koshishe Hain Mitane Kee In Haatho Ki Lakir,
Tere Bandhan Mein Bandhe Hain, Jaise Koi Janjeer.
———————————————-
Dil Todne Walon Ko Saza Kyu Nahi
Har Kisi Ko Pyar Ki Dua Kyu Nahi
Log Kehte Hain Ishq To Ek Bimari Hai
Phir Medical Mein Uski Dawa Kyu Nahi
———————————————-
Someday When The Pages Of My Life End,
I Know That You Will Be First Of Its,
Most Beautiful Chapters And If Ever I,
Get To Read It Again Ill Open It From,
The Page Where I First Met You!!
———————————————-
Hum Unse Pyar Karte Hain,
Wo Humse Pyar Karte Hain.
Na Wo Humse Baat Karte,
Na Hum Unse Baat Karte Hain.
Bas Ek Dusre Ko Dekh Kar,
Time Pass Kiya Karte Hain.
———————————————-
Jaan Hai Mujhko Zindagi Se Pyaari,
Jaan Ke Liye Kar Doon Kurban Yaari,
Jaan Ke Liye Todd Doon Dosti Tumhaari,
Ab Tumse Kya Chhupaana,
Tum Hi Toh Ho Jaan Hamaari.
———————————————-
Sahil Per Khare Khare Humne Shaam Kardi,
Apna Dil Or Duniya Aap K Naam Kar Di,
Ye Bhi Na Socha Kaise Guzregi Zindagi,
Bina Soche Samjhe Her Khushi Aap K Nam Kar Di.
———————————————-
Jis Ghari Teriyadon Ka Sama Hota Ha,
Phir Humein Aram Kahan Hota Hay,
Hosla Mujh Mein Nahi Tujhko Bula Deny Ka,
Kaam Sadiyon Ka Hai, Lamhon Main Kahan Hota Hai

HI,

Don’t know how true it is… BUT ITS FUNNY J

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This is Ultimate….. I bet after reading u may want to try  “SELF-SUICIDE”….

['self- ' ???...this is just a beginning]…HAPPY JOURNEY !

Below are profiles taken from shaadi.com  .These are actual ads on a matrimony site.

Grammar and spelling errors have no place in these profile description as everything is-

Straight from the heart!

[watch out for the final few ones!

English  lovers TAKE CARE ]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Gundumani , I am single i dont have male,If   any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my ho me . I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welco me to my heart… when ever u whant to me et pls visit my resident

or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards ~*~

(Truly yours)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state

she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other ho me work

What Ho me work???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every mo me nts of life. I

love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.

I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i

love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late co me on

……..hold my hand forever !!!

(The dil effect)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my

luck. now
i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but

while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(???????????????? What the hell…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO

LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY

THEY ARE

1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be so me one

groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he

would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

Infact she doesn’t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I

love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of ‘ok’. The person is

Suffering from ‘Ok-syndro me ‘)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father &

Mother. sister completely married

(so me body please explain how to get married
completely’?)

( Confused ????? )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my na me is devi and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me

pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

Height of desperation!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No com me nts)

(Plz for gods sake ask so me body’s help in framing sentence )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.

i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good’. i expect the

good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the sa me caste or other

caste accepted …

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social

service.

Zebra..???)

(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

DISCLAIMER:

This message including attachments if any intended solely for specific individual and purpose & may contain confidential material AND/OR Private Company Information. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying or distribution of this message or any action based on it, is strictly prohibited & protected under relevant law. If you have received this communication in error, please contact the sender or delete this message immediately. Thank you for your kind cooperation

TAKE A LOOK:
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’."
************ ********* ****
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
************ ********* ****
Customer: "I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you’ve done."
Customer: "I typed ‘A: SETUP’."
Tech Support: "Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No…"
************ ********* ****
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
************ ********* ****
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech Support: ??????
************ ********* ****
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
Tech Support: ?????
************ ********* ****
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
Tech Support: ??????
************ ********* ****
Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support: ??????
************ ********* ****
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech Support: ??????
************ ********* ****
Customer: "You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won’t boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside."
Tech Support: ?????
************ ********* ****
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
************ ********* ****
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it’s ready?"
Tech Support: ??????
************ ********* ****
The best of the lot
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE . COM at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech Support: How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

Chand ne to darek loko chahe 6e
Kyarek suraj ne chahvani koshish to karo;
Sukh to darek loko mange 6e,
Kyarek dukh mangvani koshish to karo;

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Male chhe glass pan pani kyarek j male chhe,
male chhe mrutyu pan mox kyarek j male chhe,
male chhe maa pan mamata kyarek j male chhe.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

>: T I T A N I C

_ll__ .

_,-”::::::::”=._,/t__

“____________/ BAPU, AAPDE LIDHU. VARSAD MA PUR
AAVE TO LAI JAJO. SHARMATA NAHI HO. MANGI LEJO..

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Msg Nathi
k time nathi
k skim nathi
k mokalwa nathi
k danat nathi
k ras nathi
k balance nathi
k anukulta nathi
k covrage nathi
K BHULI GAYA?

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Door rahishu to pan dil ma rahishu,
Samay na sathvare fari malta rahisu,
Aam to hu chandra nathi,Chatay karso yad,
to AMAS ma pan malta rahisu.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Ame jindgi ne savari ne betha,
Tame Aavsho Aevu dhari ne betha,
fakt tamara ek dil ne jitva ame Aakho Sansar hari ne betha.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Samay vahi jay 6e,jivan viti jay 6e,
sathi na sath 6uti jay 6e,
ankh mathi ansu vahi jay 6e,
jivan ma male 6e ghana loko yad bahu thoda rahi jay 6e

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

: Dukh 6u,
Dard 6u,
Saaj 6u,
Aawaz 6u,
Ke pachhi vitela samay ni yaad 6u,
Hu je kay 6u,
Hu je koi 6u, parntu Tamari vagar bahu Udaas 6u.

“miss u”

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Guj Haiku:

Paath sikhe 6e
maa na chumban manthi
balak nanu.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Be-haal koi ujda chaman ma
Masti sajavi janu 6u,
Ne sundar,Mitha Armann jeva
Pushpo khilavi janu 6u.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Raste jata pathhar jigar ne,
Saheje hasavi janu 6u,
Thodu radavi,thodu khijavi,
Ante manavi janu 6u

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Ishwar ne pan tathastu kaheta dar lage chhe;
Ishwar ne pan tathastu kaheta dar lage chhe; karan ke
Aajno manvi phool dhari ne bagicho mage chhe.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Bhale kahe loko pyar ma hu pan pagal
Tamara bahu-pash ni,bhitar mane game
Talee ek hathe padi sakati nathi kadi
Jindgi ni sahiyari chantar mane ga

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Koina SMS aavta atki gaya
Bhar nindar mathi ame jabki gaya
amara mukh par shabdo avi gaya Ke
He bhagvan amne aa keva kanjus loko batki gaya

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

MrJokes: Navo Divas,
Navi Savar,
Nava Vicharo,
Navi Aashao,
Nava Umango,
Navo Utsah,
Navi Laagni,
Nava Sankalp
Sathe Aavyu Aa Nootan Safal SuPrabhat.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Gujarati means

G- Great
U- Understanding
J- Jolly natured
A- Ambitious
R- Romantic
A-all rounder
T-talented
I- Indian
So proud 2 b guju.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Divso badlaya, raato badlayi;
ek ek karta badhani najar badlayi.
Malya ketlay moka badlava na,
pan tamne yaad karvani aadat kadi ‘na’ badlayi.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Ghani ichchha chhe tamne malvani,
Tamari sathe Dosti karvani,
Bus Pachhi to mali jase navi disha
Aa jindagi kain alag rite jiv-vaani

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Kanaku Pagla Karje Mara Ghar Ma
Sneh Nu Toran Bandhje Mara Gharma
Hu Pan Taro Ane Aa Hraday Pan Taru
E Haq Jatava Pagla Karje Mara Ghar Ma

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Kyarek To prem ma virah Avi Jay che
Kyarek koi lachari Avi Jay che
a virah nu avavu pan Jaruri che
a virah j To apne vadhare najik lave che

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Amari Aankho ma Aanshu Ghana che,
Ke aa Duniya ma Be-imaan Ghana che..
Prem Ame karyo che,Amne Pucho,
Prem ma Risamna-Manamna Ghana che

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Jiv-va mate su jaruri 6e?

=Hawa
=Pani
=Khorak
=Ghar
=Pariwar
ane

=Apni Dosti
=Apno Pyaar

>Suprbhat<

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Thodi gersamaj thi saru jivay 6e
khulasa karvathi dukhi thavay 6e
jivan ma kyarek bandh baji ramvi sari
baki to 3 EKKA ma pan HAARI javay 6e
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Jeevan ma mushkelio to anek hoy 6e
Parantu,te darek no rasto ek hoy 6e
Ane a rasto aene j malto hoy 6e
K jeno chahero saday hasto hoy 6e.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Best Gujarati Line:
Su Karu Fariyad Tane Ke
Fariyaad Maaj Fari Yaad Chhe
Fari Fari Ne Yaad Tari
Ej Mari Fariyad Chhe..

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Jindagi Zer-Zer chhe,
Jyan juvo tyan Ver-Ver chhe,
aa Duniya ma sachi wafa wara ochchha ane,
Be-wafao Gher-Gher chhe..

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Bheed na darbar ma kone malu?
Ret ni vanzhar ma kone malu?
Lok kinara upar malta dare 6e,
Hu have majdhar ma kone malu?

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Mane malnara darek sukh tamne male,
Tamara darek dukh mane male,
Saday smit rahe tamara honth par
Swapna joyela a mara satya thai tamne fale

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Samay samay ni aa vaat che
Hawa ma gunji rahyo aeno saad che,
Bhale a nathi aaje mari sameep
Pan aeni madhur yaad sada mari sath che

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Gunah vagar no hu gunegar 6u,
Tamare jem ganvu hoy tem gano,
Ghadiyal na kanta fervi nakhye are!
Dost…, pa6i nahi male tane A xano..

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Aek 6e aakash ne disha o char 6e,
Dil aa maru tane malva bekarar 6e,
Tari j yaado ne tari j vaato,
Have to aa nayan ne bus taro j intezar 6e

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!

Prem kare ene jagat maaf nathi kartu.
Koi eni saathe insaaf nathi kartu.
Loko prem ne paap kahe to che, pan kaun evu che je aa paap nathi kartu.??

All this happens with Husbands on each salary day…….

Wife : Where is your salary

Wife :Show me ur Pockets…

Husband : I’ll not give the money…… U spend all of my salary…..!!!

Wife :Give me way….. I am going for shopping.

Wife: Thanks Sweetheart………..bye