Category: Funny Emails
Men Are Like
Men are like fine wine:
They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d want to have with dinner.
Men are like computers:
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like coolers:
Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like coffee:
The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night long.
Men are like horoscopes:
They always tell you what to do, and they are always wrong.
Men are like plungers:
They spend most of their time in the hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like parking spots:
The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Men are like ..Laxatives …..
They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like Weather .
Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like …Commercials …..
You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like ……Government Bonds ….
They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like ….Mascara ..
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like….. Commercials.
You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like….. Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
Men are like….. Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like….. Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don’t generate interest.
Men are like….. Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.
Men are like….. Snowstorms.
You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last.
Men are like….. Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.
Men are like….. Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like….. Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
Men are like….. High heels.
They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like….. Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like….. Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like….. Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like….. Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like….. Curling irons.
They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
Men are like….. Lawn Mowers.
If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.
Men are like….. Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like….. Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like….. Mini skirts.
If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your legs.
Men are like….. Noodles.
They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Men are like….. Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like….. Placemats.
They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Some Interesting Facts About Women
# Women especially love a bargain. The question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
# Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.
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# Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
# Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
40 Things Men Want From Women !!!
Hey Sweet,Tamanna and all the other girls,
You asked for it so i thought i will oblige!40 Things men want from women and will ask:(compiled by khalid)
1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you are wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think i am speeding now, you should see me drive when you are not in the car.
5. If you are truly interested in us, dont play hard to get.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me “once.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if Iam inside.I love you less with each syllable you utter.
9. i am hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable,theyre your best sign that i am not a whack job.
11. dont be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked aint pretty.
13. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you are nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
14. I dont ask for directions because i am just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
15. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no,it doesnt always have to lead to sex.
16. I just may lie to make you feel good. dont be angry about this. You really werent looking for the truth anyway.
17. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
18. If I offer my help while you are getting ready,it means you are late.
19. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
20. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
21. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
22. Unless were meeting my parents.
23. When you call us at work just to chat,We are not really listening; We are checking our e-mail.
24. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesnt need to be a mini-skirt; its been a long winter.
25. We dont mind being told we look good. Just dont call it a cute outfit.
26. We love ponytails.
27. The first time? We are as nervous as you are
28. Make us laugh and well want to hang around.
29. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
30. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
31. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message
unless you use the words naked†and waiting.â€
32. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
33. Anytime you cook for us, We are happy.
34. No, I dont remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I am a guy, not a tape recorder.
35. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
36. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
37. We have a keen sense of imminent danger.
It sounds like, Do you think shes pretty?
38. Dont rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
39. Never say, I know you better than you know yourself. Nobody does.
40.I will leave this one to your imagination! Well girls now you know !!!
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