Category: Angry SMS

wo college ke din

1.On being Late
“Kab shuru hua?”
“Attendance ho gayi kya??”
“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”
“Mein kya karu, wo bathroom mein ghusa hua tha”
“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu……… bolna …….. kal kya padaya tha sir ne”
“Kal se pakka class karunga”
“Ek page de na………. abe pen bhi to de…….”
“Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”
2. During the lecture
“Yesss !!!! Sir…….The answer is …….huuuummmmm…….aaaaaaaa…………”
“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir….”
“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”
“Abe lecture ko chod….. dekh wo kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”
“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha…….gadha…….”
“Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha movie dekhne chalte hain ”
“Heads, we go Movie , Tails, we go Movie now!!!”
“class khatam hote hi Soft drink chahiye……”
3. Lab
“Expt. 2 Kiya kya??”
“Isme Karna kya hai??”
“Yeh bhai…..mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata……..”
“Are tu to bura maan gaya……. dikha na………”
4. Tests
“Tests???? …..Aree yaar…… ”
“Kya…… abe Test mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga….”
“Boss….. hogaya……aur nahi ho sakta……..jaan nahi de sakta…….”
“Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?”
“Aaj kounsa test hai?”
“Oye Mera dost kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail….”
After test……
“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen chalega…”
5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)
“I was in the class lecturer mark karna bhool gaya ”
“Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega……..”
“Bola tha proxy regularly maar……. Saale teri class karne ka kya faida hua…..”
6. Late submission of Projects
“Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assignment bhi saath mein submit kar dena”
“Last date extend hui thi”
“I didn’t know the last date”
“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya…….”
“They should allow XEROX……..”
7 . After exam
“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?”
“Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?”
“Ye Kaunsi book me tha”
“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….Gaya……….fail pakka…….”
“Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena……..wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar……”
8 VIVA (b4 exam)
“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”
“Aeee……Rohit…..terese kya poocha…….”
“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”
“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai”
9 . VIVA (General)
“Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point”
“Roll no. 1 aur 2 ki watt laga di hai”
“External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai”
“Ye kounse unit mein aata hai”
10 . Submission
“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”
“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”
“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”
“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”
“Ye tune kya likha hai????”
(The best one)
“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uski drawing nikal”
“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”
” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.”
“Koi hint……..”
“Are baba ghasit de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”
12. Exam
“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai”
“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai”
“ye last time hi poochha thaa”
“tere paas is ke notes hai??”
“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)”
“nahi samjha to rat le”
“External ke aane ke pura scene hai……. ”
“Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai……..”
“Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha…….issmein to anda aata hai……”
“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……..”
…….. bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai ………
…….. Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai…….
…….. kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ……..
…….. kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ……..
…….. abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ……..
…….. Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai……
…….. hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ……..
…….. exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ……..
…….. tab ki bekar lagne wali photo’s chehre pe hasi laati hai …….
…….. Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ……..
…….. Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai……..
…….. Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho…….
……..fir waise hi subah uthne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar aur …….
……..wapas lautne ka man karta hai

September 1, 2009 | 1 Comment More

When Hindi Prof. speaks English!!

inside the Class

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves – take the bigger half.
* Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class ( meaning AFTER the class) when I am empty
(meaning when he is FREE).
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today…
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
* Take 5 cm wire of any length….

About his family

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls…(?)

At the ground

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.

To a boy, angrily

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

Giving a punishment

* You, rotate the ground four times…
* You, go and under-stand the tree…
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late – say YES or NO ….(?)

Sir at his best

Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theater, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school… (to that boy) – “Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theater”

* To a beautiful girl who is trying to make excuses for coming in late
” What is this ? Yesterday you were lying with the principal and today you are trying to lie with me”

* To a boy telling him to summon a girl “Hey boy, Call girl !”

* Telling a student to put a picture on the wall before an exhibition “Boy, hang that picture on the wall or I will hang MYSELF ”

* Student : ” Sir, would you mind if I sit in the back of the class. ”
Prof. Bihari : ” No, No! … I have no mind . “

August 12, 2009 | 2 Comments More

Woh College Ke Din

Yeh degree bhi lelo ye naukari bhi lelo,
Bhale Chheen lo mujhse USA ka Visa……….. magar mujhko lauta do college ka canteen,vo chaay ka paani vo teeKha samosaa……….

kadi dhoop mein apne ghar se nikalnaa,
vo project ki Khatir shahar bhar bhataknaa,
vo lecture mein doston ki proxy lagaanaa,
vo sir ko chidhanaa ,vo citi bjaanaa,
vo submission ki raton ko jagnaa jagaanaa,
vo orals ki kahani vo practical ka Kissaa….. bimaari ka reason de ke time badhanaa,vo doosron ke assignments ko apnaa banaanaa,
vo seminar ke din paironka chhatpatanaa,

vo workshop mein din raat pasinaa bahanaa,
vo exam ke din ka bechain maahaul,
par vo maa ka vishvas – Teachar ka Bharosaa…..
vo laun ke ander gappe ladanaa,
vo raaton mein drawing sheets banaanaa,
vo exams ke akhari din theatre mein jaanaa,
vo bhole se freshers ko hamesha sataanaa,
without any reason common off pe jaanaa,
test ke waqt table mein kitabon ko rakhnaa,
isi tarah teachers ko dena Jhansaa……..
college ki wo saari lambisi raatein,
vo doston se canteen mein pyaari si baatein,
vo gathering ke din ka ladnaa Jhagadnaa,
vo ladkiyon ka yuhin hamesha akadnaa,
bhulaaye nahin bhool sakta hai koi, vo college,
vo batein, vo shararatein vo javani…kaash hum phir dohra sakte kahani……
vo kagaz ki kashti vo barish ka pani…

August 12, 2009 | 0 Comments More

Women Are Like….!!!

Khalid

Women are like….

…..The stock market,

They are irrational and can bankrupt you if you are not carefull.

…..Computers

They take too long to warm up and a better modle always  comes

along once you’ve already got one.

…..Parking meters

If you dont feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

…..Fax machines

Useful for one very specific pupose but otherwise just high-maintenance

paperweights.

…..Refrigertors

They are always cold and never seem to have a drink when you need one.

…..Blue jeans

They look good for a while  but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

==============================================================

khalid.m@hotmail.co.uk

===============================================================

July 28, 2009 | 12 Comments More

Some Selected SMS's

Dono Baithe Thhe Jaise Bejan Tasvir,
Nikle Jo Lafj, Badal Hi Gayi Taqdir,
Koshishe Hain Mitane Kee In Haatho Ki Lakir,
Tere Bandhan Mein Bandhe Hain, Jaise Koi Janjeer.
———————————————-
Dil Todne Walon Ko Saza Kyu Nahi
Har Kisi Ko Pyar Ki Dua Kyu Nahi
Log Kehte Hain Ishq To Ek Bimari Hai
Phir Medical Mein Uski Dawa Kyu Nahi
———————————————-
Someday When The Pages Of My Life End,
I Know That You Will Be First Of Its,
Most Beautiful Chapters And If Ever I,
Get To Read It Again Ill Open It From,
The Page Where I First Met You!!
———————————————-
Hum Unse Pyar Karte Hain,
Wo Humse Pyar Karte Hain.
Na Wo Humse Baat Karte,
Na Hum Unse Baat Karte Hain.
Bas Ek Dusre Ko Dekh Kar,
Time Pass Kiya Karte Hain.
———————————————-
Jaan Hai Mujhko Zindagi Se Pyaari,
Jaan Ke Liye Kar Doon Kurban Yaari,
Jaan Ke Liye Todd Doon Dosti Tumhaari,
Ab Tumse Kya Chhupaana,
Tum Hi Toh Ho Jaan Hamaari.
———————————————-
Sahil Per Khare Khare Humne Shaam Kardi,
Apna Dil Or Duniya Aap K Naam Kar Di,
Ye Bhi Na Socha Kaise Guzregi Zindagi,
Bina Soche Samjhe Her Khushi Aap K Nam Kar Di.
———————————————-
Jis Ghari Teriyadon Ka Sama Hota Ha,
Phir Humein Aram Kahan Hota Hay,
Hosla Mujh Mein Nahi Tujhko Bula Deny Ka,
Kaam Sadiyon Ka Hai, Lamhon Main Kahan Hota Hai

June 18, 2009 | 8 Comments More

Angry SMS

Wada kero per nibhana sikho
Chahat dil mein rakho per jitna sikho
U hi kisi ko intizar na karvao
Koi ager pyar se SMS kare to jawab dena sikho.

flir-spacer

If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself:
‘I used to be angry every day; then every other day;
now only every third or fourth day.’
When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.

flir-spacer

If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: ‘I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.’ When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.

flir-spacer

Kal ko milne ki aas rehne do,
Zindagi ki baqi pyas rhne do,
Apni khushiyan smait lo jana
Mujh ko u hi udas rhne do.

April 24, 2009 | 10 Comments More

New Year SMS, English SMS ,New Year Hindi SMS

Khuda kere ke naya saal apko rass a jaye,

Jise ap chahte ho wo apke pass a jaye

Aap sara saal kanware na rahein,

Apka rishta le ker apki saas a jaye :)
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

Fresh Air, Fresh Ideas, Fresh Talent, Fresh Energy, I wish U to have a Fresh and Bright New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

May this year brings a lot of happiness without hurdles & sorrows throughout this year and the whole life. (Aamin)
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

Another Fresh New Year is Here

by Jason G Cyprian

Another fresh new year is here . . . Another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, To love and laugh and give! This bright new year is given me To live each day with zest . . . To daily grow and try to be My highest and my

best! I have the opportunity Once more to right some wrongs, To pray for peace, to plant a tree, And sing more joyful songs!
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

The Object of a New Year

by Jason G Cyprian

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true.
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
New Year’s eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the

same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
The merry year is born

Like the bright berry from the naked thorn.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
New Year’s Day

by Muhammad Imran

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
An Optimist Stays

by Muhammad Imran

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time.

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

~!@~!@ New Year SMS

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off

pistols.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he

would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;

He who makes one is a fool.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for

flaws, but for potential.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
A happy New Year! Grant that I

May bring no tear to any eye

When this New Year in time shall end

Let it be said I’ve played the friend,

Have lived and loved and labored here,

And made of it a happy year.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop

abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment,

in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

~!@~!@ New Year SMS

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
A new oath holds pretty well; but… when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Glory to God in highest heaven,

Who unto man His Son hath given;

While angels sing with tender mirth,

A glad new year to all the earth.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Each age has deemed the new-born year

The fittest time for festal cheer.

~!@~!@ New Year SMS

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting

our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language

And next year’s words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird

himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
May this new year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.

a gale lag ja mere yaar,

Dedoon Jadu Ki jhappi do char,

Aaise hi katjaye Zindegi without any risk

Es ummid ke sath Wish You a ……

Very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Don ko mulko ki police sms kar rahi hai.par Don ko sms karna

mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai isliye Don khud sms kar raha ha aur keh raha hai

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Aa gale lag ja mere yaar,

Dedoon Jadu Ki jhappi do char,

Aaise hi katjaye Zindegi without any risk

Es ummid ke sath Wish You a ……

Very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

hearts~!@~!@ New Year SMS, English SMS ~!@~!@hearts
Aaj k baad naya saal aayega

Bapu ne bola hai k network jam hoga

to apun aajhi vinamrata se wish kar rela hai

bole to Happy New year.
hearts

December 10, 2008 | 10 Comments More
Page 4 of 512345